I was at the dollar store the other day with all four of our kids ages 2, 4, 5 and 7. The cashier looked at them and then looked at me and said “are you a nanny?” After turning 35 last week I gladly took her remark as a compliment that I must look WAY too young to have that many kids and laughed ;)
We draw attention most places we go, but I can tell you this, with four kiddos under 7 we have learned ALOT about baby sleep and transitioning them out of our bed. From our colicky first to our perfect sleeping third, we seem to have had the full gamut of sleepers.
And because my first post on transitioning our oldest from our bed to her crib was so popular, I wanted to add to it. (If you haven’t read that, you may want to read it first, it goes more in depth!) Know this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE if your baby’s sleeping habits have caused you stress and if you feel completely unsure how to help them sleep on their own.
To re-cap, here is what has been the most important with all four of our children…
Top tips for transitioning baby from co-sleeping to crib:
- Consistency is (and always will be) king with kids: Make a plan, find a good time to execute the plan and then STICK WITH IT! Make adjustments if needed, but know that your kids need to be able to trust you and trust is built by you following through with what you’ve started–this gives them security.
- Husband/significant other/non-mom seems to get a better response for night time wakings: Our kids just knew that if my husband was the one that came to the crib when they woke up at night that they weren’t getting out, end of story. Because of this, they usually settled back in very quickly and eventually didn’t bother crying at all if they woke up during the night. If you have someone else in the house that can respond to night-time wakings, things may go smoother!
- Noise machine or other sleep cue: For our oldest we played lullabies and for the rest we have white noise, and to this day, they all know that when the machine goes on its sleep time.
- Don’t stress too much about bedtime routines: I know there is A LOT of hype about bedtime routines for kids, but for us, it wasn’t always practical. The extent of our bedtime routine has always been: change diaper, put on jammies, drink a bottle (with milk, formula or watered down juice depending on the age and what their system tolerated), go to bed.
- 12-18 months seems to be a prime time to transition to crib: Between 12 and 18 months seemed like a natural time for us to transition our babies, however, no matter what the age of your child, we’ve heard success stories with these methods.
- Letting them get older DOES NOT make it easier!: It can be tempting to think that maybe when they’re a little older the transition from parent’s bed to own bed will be smoother, but from our experience and what we’ve heard from others, this simply isn’t true. It is a time and energy investment, but helping them to know that bedtime is in-your-bed-time and nothing else has made our life SO much easier now! We can put all four of our kids to bed in ten minutes now (and they stay there!).
We decided against cry it out
I’ll get to how we transitioned our third and fourth in a second, but also wanted to touch on the cry it out method. We know plenty of parents who swear by it and have happy kids, so if it is what you choose, no judgement from us! For me, it felt strange to go from co-sleeping to letting them figure it out in their crib all by themselves…it just didn’t feel natural to make such a sudden change.
So I was glad that we were able to find a way where they were still in their crib and learning how to go to sleep on their own, but where they also knew that we were close by and ready to respond to their needs. And for us, it seemed to be equally as effective. Don’t get me wrong, both require effort and consistency, but I felt more at peace with this method.
Different Babies, Different Needs
What I never anticipated as a mom was that breastfeeding my third and fourth would end for each at the two month mark. For the life of me I couldn’t alter my diet enough to keep them happy when they were only consuming breast milk. They were fussy and didn’t sleep well at all. So I switched both to formula. It wouldn’t have been my preference, but it is what was best for all of us at the time.
I mention this because the majority of babies are bottle fed at least part of the time by the one year mark (when we transitioned them) and it actually made things even easier for us. NOW, I know what “they” say about kids going to bed with bottles, but none of our babies ever took pacifiers and a bottle was a way for them to relax and wind down for bed.
SO, what we did was dilute one ounce of apple juice (yes only ONE-they didn’t mind the taste!) with seven ounces of water for their bedtime bottle. We’d hold them while they drank about half of it and then lay them down in their crib with the rest to go to sleep. If they got up in the night we’d give them another half bottle of the same solution.
Again, our kids weren’t reliant on pacifiers, so if your baby is, this may work differently, but for us, it was enough to help them settle down to sleep each night and be able to go to sleep on their own.
Using the Super Nanny Trick with our Fourth
Out of all of our kids, our fourth gave us the toughest time with the transition from our bed to his crib. He’d wake up screaming at night, standing in his crib and refused to lay back down, he just wanted to be picked up. So, we ended up using the super nanny approach where we would sit next to his crib when he was really worked up. We’d say “I’m going to lay you back down in your crib and then sit right here on the floor next to you.”
He’d then allow us to lay him down and in 5-10 minutes would be back to sleep.
Was this fun? No, not really. (I recommend installing the kindle app on your phone and having a good book to read!)
But the next time we moved farther from the crib and the next time a little further until we said we’d be just outside the door. In about 3 nights it was no longer an issue and we could lay him back down to sleep without needing to sit on the floor.
So in the end, it was worth it.
Getting Through the Tough Nights
Now that we’re on the other side and have four kids that sleep through the night (every night) we can say, it takes work but it is SO WORTH IT!
This can be a stressful season to navigate. By the end of the day it can be tough to find the emotional energy to engage new routines. But here is my encouragement: KEEP THE END GOAL IN MIND. For me, I just wanted to get to the point where I could put our baby to sleep quickly at night, trusting that she was happy and comfortable, so that my husband and I could have some time together before our own bedtime.
It took less than a week with each, and I couldn’t believe how much stress it alleviated for me. From then on I had time at the end of the day to do things that I needed to and things that I wanted to. And while I’ve stressed consistency, perfection is NOT required– don’t be too hard on yourself and stick with it!
Best wishes and GRACE to you as develop new routines, you’ll do great!
P.S. Currently all four of our kiddos share a room, here is how we do it (along with some other helpful advice!): 4 Moms Share: How we get our kids to bed in 15 minutes or less each night (and keep them there!)
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Thanks to validation. This is definitely a hard season. My other tricky part is… even if my husband goes in late at night to console our son he still loses his mind because is just simply is not me. A friend said she went through this too and had to physically leave the house for the entire weekend and let her husband be the only care taker for their son to finally be okay with both parents responding at late hours. Any other suggestions?
Love your article, thank you! Just wondering if you could provide some tips on how you moved your child from your room in their own crib, to their own room in their crib? My 15 month old is currently sleeping in their crib at night in our room. Thanks :)
I don’t usually read theses things but I am desperate and have enjoyed the article and comments. I have a 5 month old who has coslept with me from day 1. He is and will be my only child. He wakes up still as if he is a newborn between 1-3 hours every night. He takes 30 min naps throughout the day if he is in the crib. If I hold him he will sleep for 2-3 hours for a nap. My dr tells me to cut the umbilical cord and let him cry it out. I tried this 2x and he cried for about 3 hours projectile vomited and still need me to rock him to sleep. So needless to say that is not for me. At night time when I lay him in his crib he will sleep for 30 min then wake up. Last night I got 4 hours of sleep which was broken and I was awake in between for about 2 hours. God help me I feel like I am the only one who has a son that refuse to sleep through the night. He is 22lbs and 30”. He hates being swaddled he wants to sleep on his side but is not able to roll effectively enough yet to do that. I have tried tummy and back and I get 30 min with both. His crib is in my room and I usually get up and make him a bottle to get him to go back to sleep every couple of hours. Although most of the milk is wasted cause he just wants a sip but other times he 6oz and I never know when it will be. He is allergic to breast milk so expensive formula is what we have to use. Anyway as my baby currently lays on my chest I am going to attempt to put him back in his crib. (I tried the awake drowsy and he wakes up looks at me and screams until I pick him back up. The longest I waited was 30 min for that.) I am his sole caregiver as my partner is not able to help me. So any tips would be helpful. God help me to see the day when I will sleep through the night.
Hi Jessica!
I’m sorry to say I don’t have any advice for you, because as I read your comment I felt like I was reading exactly what is happening in my household with my 4 month baby girl and me. I was just curious if you’ve had any success and what you did? Hope this finds you well and sleeping better!
I too have the same issue. My baby girl is currently 10 months old and I caved and began co-sleeping. I read that some babies like ours are “signallers”, unlike other babies who “soothe”. Our babies signal for assistance in order to soothe and calm. I look at it as our babies just needing us to meet them where they are and to meet their needs for this time. Though, I am reading this article for guidance to see if it is time to make the transition now. Good luck to both of you and trust your heart.
Hey! I read this and the prequel to this article and it’s exactly what I’m going through. Last night was rough…last few nights baby had been waking every hour and want to nurse, no milk even comes out I don’t think, but I did it anyway because quicker back to bed for us both…well I selfishly have had it. I’m a stay at home mom so working the next isn’t a stressor but it’s becoming stressful knowing we want another baby and I don’t want to have a newborn in a bassinet next to my bed and toddler on the other who can’t sleep well…she’s 11 months in a week and I feel like it’s perfect to start the process. Last night she just wouldn’t sleep in crib, I got one hour in there but the rest after trying 5 times I took her back in bed…she slept more than an hour which overall was one success and she’d wake but we shhhh’d her back to sleep. So I think I need to keep trying and see how it goes. Definitely not giving up on first night. Anyone have any tricks how to lower baby into crib easier? Should I get an aerobic step so I can get a better angle when lowering her in? I feel like when I do it for naps, she is 100 percent fine. But last night was madding. Also, going to see if husband can put her down as well as butting her down drowsy….not sure. Last night I’m sure made her upset with the crib…,HELP. Jen
I started co-sleeping with my little girl at around 3 months because of issues with breastfeeding (had to feed side-lying because she couldn’t handle my fast flow seated – then I started falling asleep with her beside me and it just became easier to co-sleep than have her in the crib). She’s almost a year old now and I’m debating trying to transition her to her crib. My problem is she still feeds while sleeping a lot and also gets bad separation anxiety lately. She hates her crib and I think this is because she associates it with waking up without us (my husband has had mixed success getting her to sleep in her crib, but put in it fully asleep.) Any advice?
Hi!
I think your article will really help us! We have even cosleeping the last 4 months. Prior to that she was in her crib for 2.5 months at night, prior to that in a pack in play in our room. She has napped in her crib since 4 months.
So she has had transition before (we did what worked to help her sleep) but realized now everyone will sleep better if she was in her own bed.
My question, since she naps in her crib during the day, should we transition her straight to her room and maybe sleep on the floor for a bit, or do the sit down trick etc.? Or should we first transition her to a pack n play in our room? We would prefer to not have to do the second step but both of us struggle with her crying in her room. The last time I tried to let her cry her out she made herself sick , which broke my heart and resulted in transitioning getting stalled again!
Any tips would be appreciated!
Thank you so very much for sharing your experiences, I think this is going to help our family a LOT! I do have one question, naps, as with baby 1 did you keep the 2 , two hour naps daily with baby 2,3 and 4? Our third is going on 9 months old and wakes up crying every night, very restless. He is in our bed, and I would like to transition him to his crib. Thank you again for your thoughts,
I’m going through the exact same thing right now and it’s so nice to know I’m not alone. I’m on Night 1 of putting my 10month old in the crib (from co-sleeping). When co-sleeping, he would wake up 4-5x per night tossing and turning and I would need to give him some water, then pacifier, then rock him back to sleep. Usually didn’t take long but I’m currently expecting my second and I need my sleep back! Currently laying on a mattress on the floor dreading when he wakes up wailing. Going to try my best not to pick him up and only pat and soothe…
This is so helpful! Reading your post about your first born is exactly where I am right now and I am LOST! It’s so stressful. This past week I’ve spent 2+ hours putting my little to bed in his crib and then just bringing him to bed with me when he wakes up. I’m exhausted and I feel like there’s no end. He just turned 1, so I need to make a plan and stick to it. I’m going to try what you’ve suggested and pray it works!
Thank you so much for this article and the original article about transitioning your one year old from co-sleeping to a crib. Around 6 months of age with our first we felt so pressured to sleep train so we tried it for two weeks only to have him end up back in our bed after two super stressful weeks with lots of tears. Now that he’s a year and we’re ready for some of our bed back we’ve been trying this method and I already see success with him sleeping in his crib! I think our baby wasn’t ready at all at 6 months, and neither were we.. I wish someone had shown me this article and said “hey, it’s okay to wait a few months or more and try again or try something else. There isn’t a magic 6-month-only sleep training window. Listen to your mother’s instincts. If it’s breaking your heart to sleep train and you’d rather have your baby in your bed then it’s okay to do that too!.” Now I know. Thank you for writing this.
Great article!! I’m a mother of two baby girls and desperate to find the way to put my older one to her crib!!She’s one-year old now(next week she’s having her birthday) and at about a month ago my second baby was born..as you can imagine I ‘ve been pregnant for two years,working full time at the same time and feeling exhausted at the end of the day.!I started co-sleeping without my older one when I was 8 months pregnant because it was too difficult for me to stay up for long next to her crib..the thing now is that even though I’ve tried to put her back to her crib,it’s impossible to do it as she starts crying loudly,refusing to sleep there and she stands up squealing until I get her in my arms!Even after that she won’t sleep in my bed either,continuing to cry!! It seems like I ‘ll never manage to make her sleep in her room..Please help!!!!