Does your to-do list seem to keep growing? Does it feel like you’re never, EVER going to catch up with everything that needs to be done??

Marie Kondo is well-known for telling us to go through everything in our house and ask if it sparks joy, but I’ve often said that is too subjective. Asking us to use our emotions and feelings is too hard. We need objective rules.

Then I heard about the idea of a silent to-do list.

Your to-do list could be getting exponentially longer without you even knowing it but understanding the silent to-do list might cause you to look differently at every single item in your house.

What is a Silent To-Do List?

The silent to-do list comes from a book called Goodbye, Things by Fumio Sasaki. He says that every single material item in your house is sending out a message.

• A plant says, “Water me, make sure I get enough sunlight.”
• Dishes stacked up by the sink say, “Wash me, dry me, put me away.”
• Laundry on the floor says, “Pick me up, put me in the laundry room, wash me, take care of me, put me away.”
• Clothes hanging in your closet say, “Why haven’t you worn me? Why haven’t you been able to fit in me? Why did you spend money on me? Why do you make impulse purchases like this?”

Everything in your house is sending these silent, subconscious messages.

That’s why our house feels so much better now that it’s highly simplified. It feels so good to be here. I didn’t know how to describe it before.

When you get rid of all the extra stuff in your house, your to-do list automatically becomes so much shorter!

That’s why a vacation home or hotel room feels so peaceful. None of that stuff is telling us to do anything.

Of course we can’t always live in a vacation home, but we can live a whole lot closer to that if we choose to declutter all the stuff we just don’t need!

How to use the Silent To-Do List as a filter when decluttering

For each item in your house, ask yourself, Is it sending me positive messages or negative messages?

For example, think of a gross pan sitting next to the sink and a vase of flowers.

When you look at the flowers, you don’t feel any guilt. There’s nothing you have to do. You can simply enjoy them. They can remind you that even in a wacky world, there are still many good and beautiful things.  

The flowers give off a message of beauty and awe and they make you feel very good.

On the other hand, a gross, dirty pan sitting next to the sink sends negative messages.

It’s telling you:

• Why didn’t you just wash me right after you finished using me last night?
• Why didn’t you at least soak me?
• Why can’t you stay on top of the dishes?

And on and on and on.

So as you simplify your house, use this as a filter: What message is this stuff sending me?

If you have clothes that don’t fit, that you’ve spent money on, that need to be altered… what messages are those clothes sending you?

When you look around at the stuff in your house, you probably get more negative messages than positive ones.

Flowers are almost a rare exception – most of the things are saying, Do this, do that, pick me up, keep me organized, take care of me.

Even stuff that’s in storage in your basement, attic or garage can send silent messages. It needs to be organized, you need to remember that it’s there, make sure it doesn’t get ruined. And if it does get ruined, what message does that send? You’re so disorganized, why can’t you stay on top of it?

Every single thing in your house is telling you something and you need to decide: Do I want to allow these things that are sending negative messages to stay in my house? Or is it time to get rid of them?

Does it spark joy?

This idea of asking if something sparks joy, that means it’s sending a positive message – you enjoy looking at it, you enjoy having it in your house, you enjoy maintaining it.

Flowers might still tell you, Don’t forget to add water, you might want to retrim the ends or pull out any dead ones. So it’s not maintenance free, but it’s a joy to do that.

Dirty clothes that have piled up on the floor, not so much.

So this can be a filter that you can use as you’re simplifying your house – what message is this item sending me?

If it’s not good, maybe it’s time to pass that stuff on, even if you spent money on it, if it was given to you as a gift, or if it’s a sentimental item.

Life is too short to be surrounded with stuff that send you negative messages that make you feel bad about yourself. It’s just not worth it.

Minimalism just makes sense

As you reduce the amount items in your home, your invisible to-do list will get shortened as well. It’s simple math!

Remove the extra items.

Remove the stuff that you really don’t have time to take care of.

Remove the things that are taunting you.  

I think you’ll find in the process that you’ll start to feel less stressed out, less anxious in your own home. It will actually be a peaceful place to come home to.

Keep going!

When it gets tough, when you feel indecisive, when you lose momentum, remind yourself that this is really important. You deserve to have peace of mind in your own home. Your family deserves that too.

We’re all impacted a bit differently by the amount of stuff around us, but most of us function better and feel better when there just isn’t as much stuff around us.

I know how good it feels to live in a simplified home and it’s just awesome! I wish the same for you, too!!

More about minimalism!

Why can’t I part with stuff? The Endowment Effect may explain it!

How to DECIDE ONCE when Decluttering! (with printable guide!)

How to Declutter WITHOUT Making a Bigger Mess

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Decluttering is NOT always easy! We get started with really good intentions but then quickly get side-lined by our possessions.

What if I paid “good money” for the item or if I’m just not sure if I’ll need it in the future? These are valid questions and where we quickly get hung up in the decluttering process. So today let’s talk about how we can truly evaluate whether an item is worth keeping or if it’s time to let it go!

Overview: If we have the right questions to ask ourselves while decluttering, it can make the entire process easier! Below you’ll find guided decluttering worksheets for general items, kitchens and sentimental items.

GENERAL DECLUTTERING QUESTIONS

You can find a FREE PRINTABLE of these questions right here! It may be helpful to keep it in front of you when you’re decluttering.

Here are a handful of questions you can ask yourself when decluttering:

1. Have I used or admired this in the last year? This is the oldest one in the book…but it works! Chances are if you haven’t used it in the past year you will have no use for it in the coming year. This can be especially useful when going through things like clothing, sporting equipment and kitchen gadgets.
2. Can it be replaced for $20 or less? Or can it be borrowed? The number one reason we hang on to things is because we just don’t know if we’ll need it again in the future. But, this causes our homes to function more like storage units than peaceful havens for our families to recharge in. If the item could be replaced for $20 or less it may be time to cut your losses and take the chance that you may decide to replace it again in the future!
3. Would I purchase this again? SO often we purchase items hoping they’ll meet a need and we either never get around to using them or they simply don’t meet the need as we had hoped. Kitchen appliances, electronics and specialized clothing and footwear can often fall into this category. If when you hold up an item you know you regret buying it and would never purchase it again, let it go! Keeping it will not cause it to suddenly start meeting your needs!
4. Is it living out the purpose it was created for? If you have 20 coffee mugs, I can almost guarantee that they aren’t fulfilling the purpose they were created for. Unless you have a careful system to rotate your mugs and appreciate a new one each day, why not pass them on to someone who could actually use them? In a way, it is selfish of us to hold on to items “just in case” when there are other people in the world who could actually use them.
5. Am I keeping this out of guilt? We keep SO many things because we feel guilty over purchasing them and just hope someday we will find a use for them. But, unfortunately, that day rarely comes and the item taunts us every time we look at it!! We don’t deserve to be ridiculed in our own house! So get rid of the item so that you no longer have to feel guilty about it. After all, we all make mistakes!
6. If someone gave me $ would I part with it? This question is a GREAT litmus test for an item you just can’t decide what to do with. If we ask ourselves if we’d part with it if we were paid, and the answer is YES, then we need to let it go (whether someone actually gives us money in exchange for it or not!)
7. Could someone else use or love it more? How many items waste away in storage when someone else could have made really good use out of them? Water or pest damage, and just the passage of time, things are not meant to be stored, they’re meant to be USED! So if someone else could actually make use of an item, why not let them have it?
8. Do I want to have to handle this item again? This is also known as “deferred decision making”…we can’t decide what to do so we put the item back and put off the decision for another day. But how many times do we want to have to handle the same item!?! It’s best to make the decision now, even if it’s difficult, than to have to look at the same item and re-contemplate the decision a year from now.

KITCHEN DECLUTTERING QUESTIONS

There are several things that often hold us up in the kitchen like expensive appliances and gadgets and the fear of not knowing if we’ll need them in the future! Here are questions that you can ask yourself while decluttering your kitchen:

1. How do I NEED my kitchen to FUNCTION?
2. Am I keeping this just in case?
3. Could we completely clear the counters?
4. Am I OVER VALUING appliances & gadgets?
5. Is it taking up valuable space?
6. Could I put this in storage to see if I miss it?
7. Could I borrow or replace this inexpensively?
8. Would our WHOLE HOUSE feel more peaceful and enjoyable to live in if the kitchen were simplified?

You can find the free printable with kitchen decluttering questions here!

SENTIMENTAL DECLUTTERING QUESTIONS

Sentimental items are the HARDEST to declutter because often, they are irreplaceable. But don’t worry! We can help you through these items, too, by focusing on the absolute most important things and letting the rest go.

Here are questions to ask yourself when decluttering sentimental items:

1. How do I want my house to FEEL?
2. Why did I invite this into my home?
3. Am I keeping it out of guilt?
4. Does it bring up HAPPY MEMORIES?
5. Is it deteriorating in storage?
6. If someone gave me $ would I part with it?
7. Could someone else use or love it more?
8. Do I want to have to handle this item again?

You can print the decluttering sentimental items worksheet HERE!

YOU CAN DO IT!

The good news, friend? IT GETS EASIER!! Every time you part with an item you’re flexing your decluttering muscles and you reinforce the fact that very few physical items actually bring us happiness or joy, but they do cause us STRESS. And by decluttering and simplifying, we’re able to focus on the things that truly matter most.

We hope you find these questions helpful! We know it isn’t always easy to declutter, but for our own family, it has been INCREDIBLY worthwhile!

All our best to you as you simplify your home!!

If you’re on Pinterest or other social media, we’d love it if you shared this! THANK YOU, thank you, thank you!!!! :)