Part 2: What to do
What I learned about sidetracking compliments…
(P.S. If you haven’t done so, read part one before continuing!)
I have many areas of improvements. And even though it is hard to me to believe: even with my flaws I am loveable and worthy of another’s person’s praise.
When I sidetrack compliments I diminish my value and insult the other person.
I don’t feel good about myself and the other person does not feel good. By not accepting a compliment I am telling the other people I do not trust their judgment. When I acknowledge a compliment I communicate to the other person I appreciate their thoughts. I love to appreciate people…so why not give accepting compliments graciously a try?
So, these past two week I have been trying to graciously accept compliments.
It was not an easy task.
After numerous failed attempts, I finally did it and guess what? It felt great. And I didn’t expect the added bonus of making a meaningful connection with another person. Lowering my guard and exposing my heart to vulnerability opened up a world of joy I never knew. If you want to give it a try here are a few helpful pointers.
How to Accept Compliments Graciously
Two things you can do when someone has great things to say about you is smile and say “Thank you.”
A few more gracious and tactful responses …
Agree vs. deny
“You did such a great job singing at church.”
“Thanks. I love singing. It is so nice to know you enjoyed it.”
Accept-Yourself vs. self-insult
“That skirt looks great on you.”
“Thanks. It is one of my favorites.”
Make a Friend vs. argue
“Your kids are so great. You are doing such a great job as a mom.”
“Thank you so much for saying that. Being a mom is a hard job and it is so nice to be acknowledged. How is your son doing at school?”
Be Assertive vs. needing reassurance
“The photos of your kids are so great. I just love your creativity.”
“Thanks. They are such great kids. I love taking their pictures and photography is a great creative outlet for me. Do you have any creative pastimes?”
Appreciate-Yourself vs. questioning
“You look great today.”
“Thank you so much. You just made my day. It was fun getting dressed this morning. Thank you so much for noticing.”
Be Open to Vulnerability vs. the bommerang
“Wow, your eye make-up is amazing.”
“Thanks! I was trying out a new look today and was a little nervous about what other people would think.”
Love-Yourself vs. devaluing yourself
“Nice sweater. It really brings out the color of your eyes.”
“Thank you. I just love wearing blue. It is my favorite color. What color do you love to wear?”
Take Credit vs. transferring credit
“Awesome birthday party. The kids are having so much fun. You did a great job.”
“Thank you. It was so much fun planning the party with my mom. Her and I put worked hard putting the party together.”
Well that felt good!
So again: even with my flaws I am loveable and worthy of another’s person’s praise. And so are you!
What do you say to accept a compliment? Share below!
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