Change is in the air! We see it all over in nature as the the trees let go of the old to make eventual room for the new. This truth of nature got me thinking about what do I need to let go of so that my relationships can become revitalized.
The first thing that I need to work on letting go is sarcasm. This little word is packed with a nasty punch. The word sarcasm is from a Greek word, and it literally means “to tear the flesh off.” A relationship that uses sarcasm will not thrive because it is tough to grow when the flesh keeps getting torn off.
I have worked with many couples and parents who have seen the devastation that this habit can bring to a relationship. I remember one husband who I was working with told me: “Jim, you’ll kill me if I can’t use sarcasm…its who I am!”
I told him what I need to tell myself at times: “you weren’t born using sarcasm, it is a learned behavior; so the good news is you can let go of this old behavior and learn communication behaviors that are better for your relationships.”
He listened to me and we worked on him letting go of sarcasm. He was open to this change, and it demanded that he listen to his wife if she said the key phrase “I just heard sarcasm, could I have a different response?” It didn’t heal over night, and we had to go through a little winter time of change. But they made steady progress as he learned how to drop this old habit in order to develop a new one. As he let go of sarcasm his wife really started to appreciate it and their marriage got back on the track of new life that God desired for them.
How about you? Are there any sarcastic responses hat you need to drop in your relationships? If there are please give it some serious thought and prayer. If you are wondering about it, ask your loved one straight up and they will tell you if sarcasm is an issue. If it is an issue take time to set up new routines so that new life-giving habits can be developed.
May God deeply bless your fall season as you pray about dropping some old behaviors in order to bring about new, life–giving habits in your relationships. Peace.
To read part two of revitalizing your marriage, click here! (It’s all about what we HEAR our partner saying :)